Drama drama drama....

I hate drama! whoever likes it i think should like kill themselves. its so stupid and pointless. like really. come on now! grow up! hahah. it just sucks though, cauz its between my best friend and someone who ive grown to really love as a person. and they happen to be ex's but are like best friends. i dont know its complicated to explain. so anyway. there both named samantha. so my best friend i call her sammy. and the person ive grown to love ill call her sam. so anyway. sammy is still like in love with sam and really wants her back and she hasnt given up on trying. well since theyre broken up sam has every right to get with whoever she wants and do whatever she wants. sammy doesnt need to know about. and if sam wants to tell her then she can. its up to sam. so sam decided to tell sammy about shit thats she done with another girl. and sammy took it way too far. saying you never told me and at the end of that calls sam a slut. im sorry. i love sammy to death. but joking or not..... you do not call someone you love a slut. especially if you want them back. its just low and wrong. like i definitely want sammy to come to me and talk to me about it. and if she asks for my opinion then im gonna give it to her... but even if she doesnt ask for it shes still gonna hear it. cauz its really wrong! i hate that shit. i hate when anyone throws anything that someone else has done into someones face. especially shit that they've done. ugh. frustrates me to no end!


So now.... the life of jamie. lol. i think im falling for him. =/ and im so scared to fall again. cauz this time i dont know if hes serious about anything. cauz i dont really know him. all i know is what he tells me. he comes home in decemeber from iraq. and hes still talking about us getting married and me moving out to WA. cauz thats where hes stationed. and im kinda freaked out. cauz he mentioned to me before that he was gonna marry some girl from where he actually lives just so he can get the money and she can get the benefits and then divorce. he asked me if i thought it was stupid and i said uh yea. haha. so then a week or so after he tells me that he wasnt gonna do it and he wants to marry someone who he loves. and i said oh ok. and he said would you marry me? and after he said that my body shut down and he said dont think im using you cauz im not. and i was just so happy. he then said he wanted to have a family with me. so of course i say yes. then a little bit after that we talked and he said jamie i want you to be mine i want to make you happy and i want to be happy. and blah blah blah. then after i thought we were together i tried to talk to him. like through myspace messages and shit. and he read the messages but never responded. he only responded when i said this is hurting me and i dont know if i did anything wrong cauz youre not talking to me. then he wrote back saying im not ready for a relationship and i guess thats why ive been so distant. then now its back to this. that he wants to marry me. i asked him what made him change his mind and he said a lot of day dreaming. i said about what? he said having a family. and i asked you really want a family with me? he said yes. ugh GOD! what the hell is going on!?!? i think im too afraid to let my guard fully down cauz im afraid of getting hurt. blah! i dont like this. not at all. maybe this could be the real thing.... but i just dont know! eh. lol. love is definitely blind!